Stacy Simon's Journey from a Shy Individual to a Confident Speaker

Stacy Simon shares her journey from being paralyzed by speaking anxiety to becoming a confident trainer with the US Air Force. Her transformation highlights how spiritual practices like mantras can address deeper issues than traditional public speaking training, helping her integrate her interest in holistic therapies with her military career.

• Stacy struggled with speaking anxiety since childhood, avoiding situations that required visibility
• Traditional speaking training like Toastmasters didn't resolve her issues including voice shakiness and anxiety
• Initially kept her interest in holistic therapies separate from her military career due to fear of rejection
• Successfully introduced breathwork to colleagues, finding acceptance for her authentic self
• Created new opportunities for herself at work, including becoming head trainer and making training videos
• Now finds the most fulfillment in the very activities that once terrified her

Connect with  Stacy

Email: stacy0216@aol.com

Transcript

Aideen Ni Riada: 0:02

Welcome to the Resonate podcast with Aideen. I'm Aideen Ni Riada, and my guest today is Stacy Simon, and Stacy works with the US Air Force, specializing in coaching and training. She is passionate about wellness and holistic therapies, with a particular focus on breathwork, an approach that she introduced within her military role to enhance resilience and well-being. Stacy is also working toward launching a side hustle in one-to-one coaching, aiming to support individuals on their personal growth journeys, and you've been on an amazing growth journey yourself, Stacy. When we first met, you were struggling with your voice, and I would love to hear a little bit about what you were finding the most challenging then and have our listeners find out about that journey you've been on.

Stacy Simon: 0:56

Yeah, well, I've always kind of struggled with my voice ever since I was little. I was a shy kid and someone who just never wanted to speak up, never wanted to give presentations, didn't even want to speak up in class, had a lot of anxiety about that kind of stuff. And so, you know, for a long time I decided I'm just not going to, I'm just going to make my way through life without having to do that kind of thing and just focus on, you know, doing my job in a cubicle and not being seen. But you know, the reality was that you can only get so far in the workplace without, you know, basically trying to grow and improve yourself and to be seen and heard. And so eventually I thought, okay, this is worth really spending some time and getting out of my comfort zone and pushing myself a little bit.

Stacy Simon: 1:56

And so I had done, you know, toastmasters and all the different things, training opportunities, and, you know, kept trying to push myself. But it never, it never, felt easy. It always gave me a lot of anxiety and, and I'm sure it was helpful, but sometimes I actually felt like it was taking me backwards Because, you know, when things didn't go as planned, then I'd get really down on myself and that kind of thing. So anyways, yeah, and then when I had met you, it was like, okay, this is a different approach of trying to, you know, be comfortable with my voice and speaking up, and and so I thought, okay, let's give this a go speaking up and so I thought, okay, let's give this a go.

Aideen Ni Riada: 2:50

I'm so glad you went with that because when I met you, you were actually doing a online event, right, and you were pushing yourself to do it and you did pretty well, but it just felt internally very uncomfortable to you, right very uncomfortable to you.

Aideen Ni Riada: 1:40

Is it interesting how we get these blocks, we get these challenges and the challenge helps you develop the thing that you need to keep going right. I just find it so fascinating, like when you look back it can be either a terrible, you know kind of hard heartbreak that you had to go through something, or you can look at it differently and maybe see how far you have grown through a difficult time when you were challenged, you were basically told what to believe in.

Stacy Simon: 3:08

Right, right, right, exactly. I would push myself to get out there, but I never felt good about it and never seemed comfortable, and yeah yeah. So there was a lot of work needed still.

Aideen Ni Riada: 3:18

What do you think the discomfort was stemming from? Discomfort was stemming from.

Stacy Simon: 3:27

Let's see, well, I think it's ultimately like a fear of rejection, basically, you know, worried about people judging me if I'm going to say the wrong thing. A lot of times I would be so nervous that I would lose the words I was looking for and that would trip me up even more and get me into my head. So yeah, it was. You know, really, I think a lot of it just being in my head.

Aideen Ni Riada: 3:54

Yes, and of course, because you were shy as a kid. It's not like you had resources there that you could draw on. So some people will have had confident stages of their lives that they can remember, but you hadn't had any of that.

Stacy Simon: 4:11

No, in fact I had a few recitals and things that went terribly wrong. So it seemed like this pattern was just, you know, happening constantly and it got me into the point where I thought like I would go in, thinking I can't do this, you know yeah.

Aideen Ni Riada: 4:29

And I know from speaking to you, and I know you that you have a real passion for sharing wellness and holistic therapies. Like you wanted to help people, but this problem with being able to speak up comfortably was really holding you back, wasn't it?

Stacy Simon: 4:44

this problem with being able to speak up comfortably was really holding you back, wasn't it Right? Exactly Like getting out there and being seen or you know, talking about things, being in groups and talking about them, all of it, even one-on-ones. You know, I wasn't confident I would my voice would shake a lot. That was another thing. So even if I went into it feeling confident, my voice started shaking, then it would get me in my head again and yeah, so it really. It really has held me back a lot.

Aideen Ni Riada: 5:14

What was a turning point with you when we started working together? Because it was a slow but sure kind of gradual process, I think, but I'm wondering what it is that was the light bulb moment for you.

Stacy Simon: 5:30

Yeah, I don't know if there was a light bulb moment or if it was just the practices of the mantras and working with those.

Stacy Simon: 5:40

When I first started, it was like, okay, it felt kind of like homework, Okay, this is what I need to do, and you know I would do them or whatever. But, and they felt good. But there was a time where, eventually, it was like I could feel how deep it was when I did them and like I could feel that, I don't know, the energy in my body was moving and there was a lot more to it. It wasn't just about like opening up my throat, but it was healing me in other ways. And, um, and I started to notice that my voice wasn't shaky when I'd go to meetings and things like that. So I started to notice that while I, you know, had been practicing and keeping up with the mantras, it really was making a difference and I guess the nervousness of my voice and and even the tone of my voice changed a lot. It was more relaxed versus kind of, you know, nervous and fakie, if you will.

Aideen Ni Riada: 6:43

Yeah, the tone might rise up because you were nervous, something like that.

Stacy Simon: 6:46

Yes, exactly.

Aideen Ni Riada: 6:48

Yeah, because I think what's really interesting about your journey is that internal default feeling of it's not safe for me to speak.

Aideen Ni Riada: 7:04

There was some elements of your life where maybe you were feeling a little isolated and uncomfortable working within the military while also feeling connected to holistic therapies, and all of that seemed like just two very different worlds and you didn't really know how to be you within your workplace, be you within your workplace, how to express who you were and that authentic interest that you had in holistic therapies with these people that most of them didn't have any clue and, of course, we were coming from a time where it was actually during COVID, when we started working together, there was a lot of stress for you in the workplace and there was a lot going on with stress within your colleagues, and you were feeling that very deeply, I think, because you're connected to your spirit and you're sensitive in ways. So there was a big journey there as well. Can you talk a little bit about how you became more grounded and how you were able to manage your sensitivities within the workplace?

Stacy Simon: 8:14

Yeah, yeah. So, like you had mentioned, I felt I kind of was going through an identity crisis. I felt like I was living two different lives that I really wanted to keep separate because I felt like my authentic self was into the holistic and wellness. And then, and then I had this job where I didn't think they would accept that there and so I really wanted to, you know, keep it on the down low and not really, you know, be authentic in that environment really.

Stacy Simon: 8:50

But as I've done this work, it was like I started to realize, okay, I can bring things in here and there and like it can, you know, benefit them. So I started doing breath work for them and they it was really well received, they, you know, a lot of people had said you know, I want to continue to do this and look into more of this. So, yeah, it was a nice surprise and getting those little reassurances was like, okay, I need to, you know, continue to be myself and just be solid in who I am and not worry so much, not be in my head about you know, continue to be myself and just be solid in who I am and not worry so much, not be in my head about. You know how people are going to perceive it.

Aideen Ni Riada: 9:34

For sure. And was there anything else that seemed to change within the workplace as well? Because there was a lot at the start of our work together. There was a lot of stress for you within the workplace, like you just did not want to go in there at all, but something shifted that helped you be more resilient. I think in that was. Would that be true?

Stacy Simon: 9:55

Yeah, that is true. Um, I, you know, would rather work from home, right, but, um, I do go in and, um, you know, I just, yeah, I try to make the best of it. But I think one of the things that also shifted for me was I never felt comfortable speaking up. It didn't matter what environment it was, and so even in my Air Force environment, where I had worked for a long time, I was really quiet. But after doing this work, I really noticed that I started becoming more of a leader in that environment and taking on more opportunities that allowed me to be seen.

Stacy Simon: 10:40

And I started doing this training program and I'm kind of the head trainer for that now, doing this training program and I'm kind of the head trainer for that now, and I love it. Like the old me would have, you know, prepared something and had all these notes and an outline and gotten super nervous beforehand. But now I go into that and I don't even know what I'm going to say half the time. Like I might have a little bit of like topics written out, but it's just go with the flow and it's completely different. So, um, yeah, what a turnaround, yeah thanks you.

Aideen Ni Riada: 11:15

Are you proud of yourself?

Aideen Ni Riada: 11:16

yes, I am yeah, I'm proud of you. That's. It's just been an amazing journey. It's almost like you know, a turnaround from like being a little bunny rabbit in the forest and hiding from everybody to being more of you know, a turnaround from like being a little bunny rabbit in the forest and hiding from everybody to being more of you know, just stepping into your power and striding through and knowing that you have a place there, right, right, and you have an important place, even though it's different from the perspective of others within your workplace that they will respect and appreciate some of what you have to bring yeah, exactly, we're, all you know, different people and we have different gifts and um, and so that's how I see it now.

Stacy Simon: 11:59

It's not like I don't fit in and I'm not good enough, but rather like I'm bringing in a lot of like the coaching kind of energy and, yeah, just more focused on people and helping people grow and develop and that kind of thing.

Aideen Ni Riada: 12:17

And so there's, you know, a place for everybody and yeah sure, is there a moment or conversation or like a specific thing that happened early on that you were like, oh my God, I just did that.

Stacy Simon: 12:35

Hmm, yeah, I mean, I guess it would be with that that training, as I noticed, like that I really wasn't preparing for it anymore and it was going so well and people would message me and say you know, you're so great at training, like I really like you explain things so easily. In fact, the Air Force had me make a bunch of video presentations for our website to lead through different kinds of training as well, and I get compliments on those all the time and yeah, so it's just those little things that I've done that have really helped my confidence so that I can do the next thing.

Aideen Ni Riada: 13:15

It's amazing and look I the way we work together. It wasn't't just on. You know speaking skills and we weren't just talking. You mentioned that we did mantra and I just want to explain for any of the listeners that what we did was actually almost like a spiritual process where we would I would recommend a mantra from the Sufi tradition or from the Vedic tradition that was calling on support from the energy around us, the unseen positive energies that we have around us, and that was something you were open to because you were aware of yoga and breathwork A lot of breathwork comes from that tradition, so you just leaned right into that. Had you done mantra before? We worked together as well?

Stacy Simon: 14:06

Not really Just like in a yoga class, maybe here or there, but I've never taken more of a class or dived in like that.

Aideen Ni Riada: 14:14

Yes, what was that like? Because you put aside time every day to do some mantra, didn't you?

Stacy Simon: 14:23

Yeah, exactly, and I still do. Um, and you know, like I had said this, this other way of doing it, of pushing yourself and getting out there and just, you know, be like training and a group and stuff. I mean that can work, but it seemed like it was my nervous system would just get, so, you know, wired and stuff. It just didn't feel safe. So, and I did it so many times, I probably went on 30 different trips and trained and the comments were, you know, she's really nervous. So it wasn't just in my head, right, it was obvious and so it just it seemed like a slow approach that way and it didn't. I didn't enjoy it at all.

Stacy Simon: 15:09

So, you know, when you had mentioned the mantras being able to help with your voice and even, like I said, the shakiness and different things like that, I thought, okay, this is worth trying because it sounds like a lot more fun than what I'm doing right now and I honestly think there was more benefit out of it. I'm sure the other stuff did help, but the mantras is where I saw like my voice stopped shaking, it felt more steady and, yeah, the voice changed and my energy changed because I think, like the mantras are doing more than just the voice Right. It's got other impacts too. And and yeah, I just love the mantras- yeah, I love them too.

Aideen Ni Riada: 15:54

It's honestly, when I started my own business, doing this disciplined practice of mantra was like a grounding thing that I just did every day for my own mental health, really, but it also made it made me feel supported. I didn't feel as alone doing things and I was more guided by my intuition. Did that happen for you too?

Stacy Simon: 16:16

yes, yeah, I agree, yeah, yeah, I feel all sorts of things happening in my body when I'm doing the mantras. So I know, like, like I said, it's doing other things, like digestion is happening or you know whatever. It is like a you know spurt of energy going down my leg or whatever random thing. So it's like it's opening up, like stagnant areas and, yeah, I think it's really helping with my nervous system in a lot of ways. So there's so much more to it.

Aideen Ni Riada: 16:53

Yeah, and I just love that you trust yourself so much more now.

Stacy Simon: 16:57

Yeah.

Aideen Ni Riada: 16:58

That you can stand in a room and go. I can figure this out. I'll say something, and it doesn't have to be absolutely perfect, but I can do this.

Stacy Simon: 17:07

Right, I'm trying to live by that motto, to feel the fear and do it anyway, because, yeah, I know that's how things change and how you grow. Right, but it's not always so easy. Right, but it's not always so easy so Well.

Aideen Ni Riada: 17:21

I admire the way that you've transformed a difficult workplace into a place that you can grow, where you have allowed your authentic self to shine and you've stepped into those new opportunities that were there for you Like there was you didn't see any of that. That were there for you like there was you didn't see any of that. It's actually. It took us a while working together for you to go.

Stacy Simon: 17:47

maybe there maybe I'm okay, like you really wanted to leave your job, right and so but there was something there for you still yeah, I mean, I actually created even some of those opportunities, like you know, thought of like the idea, like we should do this and then I'll do it, you know, and and those are things I would have never done before, right and, and I enjoyed them, like it, the training part is one of my favorite parts of my job now and you know it used to be something I was so scared of I would have never even tried, right. So, yeah, I'm, I'm glad it's like all led to the right thing. It's getting me more and more aligned.

Aideen Ni Riada: 18:26

I love it. I love it. Um, if you were to recommend this kind of journey to a friend, what would you say?

Stacy Simon: 18:36

Um, well, I would definitely recommend it. I would say it's been, you know, so life changing and in an easier way, like in a way of flow, rather than pushing and having to be hard. Yeah, and you know, like I said with the mantra specifically, like the benefits that I get there in so many different ways are worth it. It's worth taking 15 minutes every morning and doing those because it's helped with my voice, it's helped with my nervous system, it's helped with, like, my mental health grounding, all of those things. So, yeah, if you have like any interest in that, I would say try it out, because it's been so beneficial thank you so much for sharing your story with uh with me.

Aideen Ni Riada: 19:27

Again, it's amazing to hear all the progression you've had since you know the last few years. It's been. What an amazing journey and, um, I'm really, really happy to hear all that you're doing. And there was a big turnaround from feeling like I'm scared and I'm not safe to you starting to realize I'm the one that can make everyone else feel better. I can be a positive influence here. That's like a 180 turnaround. I love it.

Stacy Simon: 19:58

Thank you so much. Thank you, thank you for everything.

Aideen Ni Riada: 20:05

I'm so glad we met. Yeah, me too. Um, is there anything that you'd like to say? Any anything that you think is worth maybe repeating that you've already said to anybody who's listening right now.

Stacy Simon: 20:20

I guess you know, I guess you know I it's okay if there's nothing.

Aideen Ni Riada: 20:28

It's just if there is something like, if you know I know you just asked you already if you were to recommend it to a friend, you'd say, go do it. But is there like, is there something that you like? Let's say, someone asked, asked you, ok, how did you do it? And they maybe weren't ready to work with me. What would you say to them? What would you tell them?

Stacy Simon: 20:50

If they weren't ready to work with you, but they wanted to do the like speaking in public, kind of thing or yeah, or tried the approach you tried.

Aideen Ni Riada: 21:00

What would you say to them?

Stacy Simon: 21:01

Yeah, or tried the approach. You tried. What would you say to them? Yeah, I mean, I would say, if they're not ready, I mean, then, how much do they really want it right? Because we have to take a step in that direction in some way. So if it doesn't call to them to do mantras, there's other ways that we can do it Right. But, yeah, I think you're going to have to take some kind of step when, if you really want it right Cause I could have just decided I'm not going to do this and I'm going to sit in my cubicle for the rest of my life and just work on the spreadsheet, you know, but and I would have been okay with that, but I wouldn't have been nearly as fulfilled. You know, like I said, the part of my job that I love the most is the stuff that I never wanted to do before. So I think they say, right, you're supposed to follow the fear, because that's where your real gifts lie, and I do see that.

Stacy Simon: 22:01

So you know, if there's a little bit of them that really wants to improve in speaking and being seen and heard, then take some sort of step and if you don't like that one, try something else, because there's a lot of different ways you can get there.

Aideen Ni Riada: 22:18

I love that. Thank you so much. Thank you, Stacy, for joining us today on the Resonate podcast. I'm Aideen, look forward to introducing you to other clients of mine over the next couple of episodes and thanks again for listening everyone. Bye, bye.