The Invisible Story That Was Holding Me Back

I recently joined Calvin Correli on his podcast, Recode Your Mind. I expected us to talk about business growth, visibility, and entrepreneurship. Instead, we spent almost two hours exploring something much more personal.

At one point, Calvin asked me a question I wasn't expecting.

"When did you learn that your voice wasn't valuable?"

Immediately, I was transported back to a family gathering when I was ten years old. One of my cousins was invited to sing for everyone. I remember standing there thinking, No one is asking me to sing. It wasn't really about the singing.

It was about wanting to be seen.

As we continued talking, I began to recognize something that had quietly influenced so many areas of my life. Somewhere along the way, I had absorbed the belief that other people were more important than me. That if I wanted to express myself, I first had to prove my worth.

That belief affected far more than my music. It shaped how I promoted my business. How visible I allowed myself to become. How much I expected to be paid. How confidently I shared my work.

Calvin describes these deeply held beliefs as "mind bugs." They're not simply thoughts we can replace with positive affirmations. They're the invisible lenses through which we see ourselves and interpret the world.

The moment we recognize them, something begins to shift.

One of the most powerful insights from our conversation was this:

"You're not a consumer of love. You're a producer of love."

That sentence has stayed with me. So often we're waiting for someone else to approve of us—to understand us, encourage us, or finally tell us we're enough. But what if the person who needs our love most is the younger version of ourselves who first learned to doubt?

As an Intuitive Voice Coach, this is exactly why I believe voice and singing are such powerful tools for healing.

When we sing, we aren't simply making sound. We're expressing parts of ourselves that words often cannot reach. We're giving ourselves permission to exist fully. We're allowing the younger parts of us to be heard.

That conversation reminded me that confidence doesn't come from becoming someone new. It comes from returning to who we've always been underneath the fear.

If you've ever felt like you're holding yourself back and you're not quite sure why, I hope this conversation gives you permission to become curious rather than critical.

Sometimes one question changes everything.